Who is Cody "free hugs" Eric atcheson?

The Roller Coaster

I wrote this a couple month after Cody passed away. So many mothers have told me they have felt this way too. Many of the homeless population are young adults and their mothers are living the reality of the roller coaster.

If I were to describe the life of a mother with an addicted child. My best description would be like being on a roller coaster ride. The emotions I experienced were fear, hope, anxiety, worry, anger, doubt, anguish, and shame.. Fear after every payday that I would find him gone due to an overdose. Hope after every apology and promise. He wanted to be clean. He would promise to enter into a treatment program. Anxiety when you plan a trip without him that you will get a call telling you he had overdosed. Worry constantly about how he is truly doing and if he is lying to me so that I don't worry. Anger that he is lying to me and won’t seek help to overcome the addiction. Doubt that I am making the right decisions and in my ability to keep him safe. Knowing there is a fine line between safety and enabling. Knowing that tough love is society’s acceptable answer, but also doubting if that is the best choice when factoring other things like Autism and coping skills. Anguish that accompanies all these other emotions. The pain that I feel every day because of his choices. Shame is probably the biggest emotion I experienced. I questioned what I did wrong and how could I or why wasn’t I able to prevent the addiction. Shame in that I perceived others as judging me in my inability to stop this. This shame is real but it is misplaced. Addiction has reached epidemic levels and is touching all levels of society low, middle, and higher incomes. If your family hasn’t been touched by tragedy yet, the reality is in time in some way, it will. The shame and fear of judgement has many riding this roller coaster alone. There is strength in unity. It is time to start having the conversation, and realize that shame has no place on this ride. Then one day, the ride ends. The first emotion I felt was relief. All the emotions I experienced on this ride has finally stopped. It is over, and there is so much relief. But as I walk away from the ride, this path is now filled with grief and guilt. Guilt: I didn't do enough, didn’t love enough, or didn’t pray enough. Guilt: I’m relieved the roller coaster ride has ended. Guilt: I would prefer this path over the roller coaster ride. Grief accompanies me every day. I grieve over the missed opportunities. I will never meet his future wife. I will never being able to hold his future babies. I grieve because I’ll never be able to see his smile, or hear his laugh. I long to experience life with him (like the holidays). Most importantly, I will never be able to hear him say “I love you". There is one last emotion I have experienced along this path with grief and guilt. It is peace. As hard as it was for me to experience the roller coaster ride, it was harder for him the addict. The ups and downs, and upside down loops, it can only be described as a living hell for us both. He wanted the ride to stop, even more than I did. He didn’t want death, because he knew that meant grief for me even though it meant peace for him. One day the ride suddenly ended. He is now at peace. Because of this, I can draw comfort in his peace. Forever in my heart, I love you, Cody Free-Hugs Atcheson. 

Rising from tragedy

Cody was never homeless, but he was always offering his homeless friends a room or couch in his home. I remember him saying, "Mom, he/she had no where to go." CEA Homeless Ministries Compassion Embraces Addicts Inc was established as a nonprofit with 501c3 status in memory of Cody Eric Atcheson .